100 Things About Me

Ok, so I have visited blogs where they celebrate their 100th post by posting a "100 Things About Me List." At the pace I am posting, I will be in a nursing home before I hit 10o posts, so I decided to just do it now. Because I don't like to procrastinate. (And family, if any of you are reading this post, please don't disclose the lie in that statement when you leave a comment) So, here goes, in no particular order.

I just made the executive decision to post 10 each day for 10 days. I am sure you won't be able to sleep at night from the anticipation this will cause, but take some Ambien or something, okay?

First Ten Things About Me:

1. I am a grammar Nazi. Get your conjunctions and you're pronouns correct or your gonna drive people like me insane. (Please please please tell me you caught them...)

2. I am an attorney. Yes, I understand that you might think that all attorneys are lying, cheating, greedy thieves, but when you need one, you will be glad we exist.

3. My husband is a dairy farmer. Our dinnertime conversation might cover things like castration, a cow falling in the 15-ft. deep manure pit, or even a new mom (cow mom) having a retained placenta. All just part of the charm of living on a farm, I guess.

4. We have 5 kids. No, we are not Catholic; yes, we know what causes it; and the one I hate the most - no, we did not have a lot of kids so that we would have more help on the farm.

5. My second toe is really long. In fact, it is exactly as long as my pinky finger! Take your sock off now and compare yours...I know you want to.

6. We are new owners of a vacation rental! Woo-hoo. You can visit the website at www.HoneycreekHideaway.com.

7. My favorite food is potatoes. Baked, fried, mashed, grilled, sliced, diced, you name it. I have never let one of my kids' fries ever make it from their fast food tray to the trash bin. For that, I am very proud. Okay, not really, but it is true.

8. I love candles. I almost always have at least one burning when I am at home.

9. I drive a Suburban. It's my sixth child - I love it so much.

10. I have an awesome 12 year old dog named Samantha Josephine ( aka "Sammy"). She has to take laxatives (it's a long story). Everytime someone asks G-man (our 5 year old son) if he has a dog he says the same dramatic thing: "Her name is Sammy and is she doesn't poop, she'll die!" Talk about an awkward conversation piece. You wouldn't believe how many people he has left speechless with this response.

Ok, that's enough delving into the odd recesses of my life for today. Check back for more later.

Merry STINKIN' Christmas (and WFMW)

Literally. I got home from Christmas shopping last night and noticed a stink in the house. Turns out the toilets wouldn't flush (but the kids still had to poop). I told Hubby this morning he should have cut off all food and water from the kids when he discovered the problem (just kidding, just kidding)! Hubby removed the toilets from the floor, thinking something had been flushed and was stuck, but one wedged bar of soap, one 1/32nd scale John Deere Skidsteer and a golf ball later, they still wouldn't work. (Did I mention our 3 year old has a penchant for flushing large objects down the commode?) We had our septic tank pumped out recently, so we knew that wasn't the problem. But...turns out our "leech bed" (perhaps the grossest-sounding phrase related to my home) is not good. All I know aboput leech beds is that when you live in the country, you need one. That works. They are coming to dig up our backyard this afternoon with a backhoe, which normally would bother me, but anything that will allow me permission to poop in my home again is welcome here.

OK, since I am on the topic of POOP, I might as well stay gross and leave an appropriate Works for Me Wednesday topic! Having 5 little ones has taught me how to be an awesome barf cleaner-upper (I should put that on my resume). After many frustrating incidents of using papertowels to clean it up and, instead, smearing it into the carpet, I discovered....drumroll.......my dough scraper. I got one quite a few years ago and love using it for working with dough for homemade cinnamon rolls, dinner rolls, etc and for cleaning the flour off the countertop efficiently and scraping up dried dough bits. What they don't advertise are the vomit cleanup benefits. Whether on carpet or a hard floor, you just put it at a 45-degree angle and "scoop" up the yuck. I also use this tool for cleaning up messes like a broken bottle of relish, a dumped out ketchup bottle, and an emptied bottle of dishwashing soap. The uses are endless. The first time Hubby saw me using my dough scraper on vomit, he about vomitted, but I clean it really well and disinfect it - I promise. Mine is all stainless steel, so it is very easy to feel confident that I have it totally clean.

Now, back to waiting on the poop fairy (aka backhoe operator). And I promise, no more gross posts in the future (assuming they get this problem fixed today, that is).

For more WFMW ideas, be sure to visit Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer!